How do you break up with a friend?
I feel like I keep getting handed these loaded guns, but lets tackle this all to real issue together, mmkay? So you have a friend you no longer want to call a friend. They betrayed you, lied to you, you all may have grown apart, or they ate the last of your cotton candy? WHAT!?! Cotton Candy is a HUGE reason for the demise of a friendship...LOL! Anywhoo, for some reason you want to bring a close to the friendship, and that's your prerogative. However, how do you walk away?
My first two concerns are does your friend know you are bringing the friendship to a close AND do they know why? Many times we think its easier to just disappear, and while it is for you, the other party is left to ponder if its really over and why. If you are brave enough to cut the ties of the relationship, be brave and respectful enough to let your former friend know that yes its over and the reason as to why. There is nothing worse than walking around with a broken friendship, and not knowing its broken or understanding what happened to cause the demise.
My third concern is to make sure you are not making this decision while in an overly emotional state. It is so easy in a temporary fit of anger for us to make permanent decisions. This decisions are not typically sound, and can cause more harm than good. Take a night to sleep on the decision to dissolve a friendship. If you wake up in the morning and issue still rubs you wrong, then proceed. The goal at the end of the day is to bring the friendship to a peaceful end, unless you are mean and hateful. But that's a completely separate blog!
When you approach your friend, expect some resistance. A real friend is not willing to just let go of a friendship that has been developed with time and care. This is the time to remain calm, and voice the issues you see in a non-blaming fashion. Don't start the conversation with "this is what bothers me about you!" You wouldn't want to hear it and neither does your friend! Once the issues have been voiced, they have two options, address them or let it dissolve. With that being said, please keep in mind that you are NOT perfect. Your friend may have some issues with you...gasp! Imagine that!!!! NEWSFLASH:
I feel like I keep getting handed these loaded guns, but lets tackle this all to real issue together, mmkay? So you have a friend you no longer want to call a friend. They betrayed you, lied to you, you all may have grown apart, or they ate the last of your cotton candy? WHAT!?! Cotton Candy is a HUGE reason for the demise of a friendship...LOL! Anywhoo, for some reason you want to bring a close to the friendship, and that's your prerogative. However, how do you walk away?
My first two concerns are does your friend know you are bringing the friendship to a close AND do they know why? Many times we think its easier to just disappear, and while it is for you, the other party is left to ponder if its really over and why. If you are brave enough to cut the ties of the relationship, be brave and respectful enough to let your former friend know that yes its over and the reason as to why. There is nothing worse than walking around with a broken friendship, and not knowing its broken or understanding what happened to cause the demise.
My third concern is to make sure you are not making this decision while in an overly emotional state. It is so easy in a temporary fit of anger for us to make permanent decisions. This decisions are not typically sound, and can cause more harm than good. Take a night to sleep on the decision to dissolve a friendship. If you wake up in the morning and issue still rubs you wrong, then proceed. The goal at the end of the day is to bring the friendship to a peaceful end, unless you are mean and hateful. But that's a completely separate blog!
When you approach your friend, expect some resistance. A real friend is not willing to just let go of a friendship that has been developed with time and care. This is the time to remain calm, and voice the issues you see in a non-blaming fashion. Don't start the conversation with "this is what bothers me about you!" You wouldn't want to hear it and neither does your friend! Once the issues have been voiced, they have two options, address them or let it dissolve. With that being said, please keep in mind that you are NOT perfect. Your friend may have some issues with you...gasp! Imagine that!!!! NEWSFLASH:
Truly it is fine that you are not perfect, however you must be receptive to CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. These are the conversations that make you a stronger, better person. If you know what your friend states is true, then take it and improve. If they hit you with a "you suck ANDDDD you're ANNOYING" (and you know that's not true) move on. State your peace, allow your friend to state their peace, and move forward in peace. This is not the time to have a knockdown, drag-out fight if the friendship is truly over.
Hopefully your end goal is to find a kind and peaceful resolution (whether you end it or not) to your friendship. If you can keeps these things in mind while also voicing how you feel, you should be able to reach that goal. In the end, do not hang on to something or someone out of pure comfort. If you know within yourself that its time to break the friendship off, then cut the ties in a constructive manner and move forward knowing you have done all you could in the friendship.
Hopefully your end goal is to find a kind and peaceful resolution (whether you end it or not) to your friendship. If you can keeps these things in mind while also voicing how you feel, you should be able to reach that goal. In the end, do not hang on to something or someone out of pure comfort. If you know within yourself that its time to break the friendship off, then cut the ties in a constructive manner and move forward knowing you have done all you could in the friendship.
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