Topic: Recognizing and overcoming differences in situations
There comes a time in everyone's life during a conversation, that two opinions come colliding towards one another like two conductor-less freight trains. You were talking about a subject with a calmness and then it dawns on you "my friend doesn't agree with me". While I love respectful conversations where the person I'm speaking with doesn't agree, things have the potential to get ugly. It is in these moments, you, and your friend, must make a few decisions.
First, both parties need to realize that you don't agree on this topic, nor do you have to. If it is the first disagreement, trust me, it will NOT be the last. Disagreements are ok to have. Those conversations provide the BEST learning environments. During conversations with differing opinions and views you are able to talk about topics in ways you may have never seen them before. That is a GREAT opportunity for growth! Whether you change your opinion after learning the information, or stay with your former opinion, you have taken advantage of an opportunity to expand your thinking and mind.
Second, you must take your feelings out of the conversation. So many people get upset when you don't agree with them. Real friends and grown ups are not yes men! This is NOT Coming to America, and I will not hop on one foot barking like a dog because this is the request from "whatever you like"! While we are granted the freedom to believe whatever we'd like in America, we must understand the responsibility that comes with that is being tactful while expressing our views. Also we should NEVER turn a discussion into a manipulation/pressuring session. During a conversation, you're job is to present the information and be available to answer any outlying questions, while also listening to the other participant(s).
Prime example: I had a conversation with a friend years ago where they disclosed a discovery they found out about themselves. Before and after telling me, they had many questions about my beliefs and feelings on the subject. We had the BEST conversation where they felt like they had the space to ask questions, as did I. In the end we agreed to disagree, said our I love you's, and I believe that our relationship grew stronger.
Third, this is not your time to be a know it all! You want to know why, because you AREN'T all knowing! This is something even I struggle with because I've had some interesting experiences. I'm typically fine, until I meet someone who acts as if I've never done anything in LIFE! During conversations, especially those with differing opinions, try not to be overbearing. None of us knows everything in life. One statement that drives me up a wall is "well they can't tell me anything because they are younger than I am!" And while a person may be, you can't ever know their full story. There may be portions of their life they have not shared with you that might be the very key to your situation. However, in order to hear it you must stop talking and listen. (As my mom says, God gave you two ears and one mouth, so listen twice as much as you speak!)
In the end if you still do not agree, THAT'S PERFECTLY FINE! You are not the ruler of the universe whom everyone must bow to and agree with! You never know who is going to speak with that person next! They may drive the point home with personal experience in a way you never could! Unfortunately, I feel the art of communication has taken a hit, but we must be diligent to teach each other to become better communicators. In doing so we must exercise kindness, humility, and respect.
There comes a time in everyone's life during a conversation, that two opinions come colliding towards one another like two conductor-less freight trains. You were talking about a subject with a calmness and then it dawns on you "my friend doesn't agree with me". While I love respectful conversations where the person I'm speaking with doesn't agree, things have the potential to get ugly. It is in these moments, you, and your friend, must make a few decisions.
First, both parties need to realize that you don't agree on this topic, nor do you have to. If it is the first disagreement, trust me, it will NOT be the last. Disagreements are ok to have. Those conversations provide the BEST learning environments. During conversations with differing opinions and views you are able to talk about topics in ways you may have never seen them before. That is a GREAT opportunity for growth! Whether you change your opinion after learning the information, or stay with your former opinion, you have taken advantage of an opportunity to expand your thinking and mind.
Second, you must take your feelings out of the conversation. So many people get upset when you don't agree with them. Real friends and grown ups are not yes men! This is NOT Coming to America, and I will not hop on one foot barking like a dog because this is the request from "whatever you like"! While we are granted the freedom to believe whatever we'd like in America, we must understand the responsibility that comes with that is being tactful while expressing our views. Also we should NEVER turn a discussion into a manipulation/pressuring session. During a conversation, you're job is to present the information and be available to answer any outlying questions, while also listening to the other participant(s).
Prime example: I had a conversation with a friend years ago where they disclosed a discovery they found out about themselves. Before and after telling me, they had many questions about my beliefs and feelings on the subject. We had the BEST conversation where they felt like they had the space to ask questions, as did I. In the end we agreed to disagree, said our I love you's, and I believe that our relationship grew stronger.
Third, this is not your time to be a know it all! You want to know why, because you AREN'T all knowing! This is something even I struggle with because I've had some interesting experiences. I'm typically fine, until I meet someone who acts as if I've never done anything in LIFE! During conversations, especially those with differing opinions, try not to be overbearing. None of us knows everything in life. One statement that drives me up a wall is "well they can't tell me anything because they are younger than I am!" And while a person may be, you can't ever know their full story. There may be portions of their life they have not shared with you that might be the very key to your situation. However, in order to hear it you must stop talking and listen. (As my mom says, God gave you two ears and one mouth, so listen twice as much as you speak!)
In the end if you still do not agree, THAT'S PERFECTLY FINE! You are not the ruler of the universe whom everyone must bow to and agree with! You never know who is going to speak with that person next! They may drive the point home with personal experience in a way you never could! Unfortunately, I feel the art of communication has taken a hit, but we must be diligent to teach each other to become better communicators. In doing so we must exercise kindness, humility, and respect.
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