Day 2 Question: What are your thoughts on friends or long time friends dating?
Well Lord Jesus! That's a mixed bag of crazy! I've seen this go great in one instance, and in another I've experienced it in a hurricane of horrible. First and foremost, this all comes down to your own opinion. It truly depends on your relationship, as well as the other persons viewpoint of any possible romantic relationship. It comes with risks. Some people are willing to risk an awkward moment to find out for sure if the relationship could become romantic. Other people are scared out of their wits. You not only have to evaluate your reaction, but you must also prepare to deal with the response you receive from your friend. You don't want to be that person that asks expecting a "no" and you receive a "yes".
I, personally, am not a fan of dating a long term friends. If we've been friends for 5, 10, 15 years, did you all of a sudden wake up and say "heyyyyy I like him/her" ? Like what all of a sudden 15 years into the friendship clicked and said,
Well Lord Jesus! That's a mixed bag of crazy! I've seen this go great in one instance, and in another I've experienced it in a hurricane of horrible. First and foremost, this all comes down to your own opinion. It truly depends on your relationship, as well as the other persons viewpoint of any possible romantic relationship. It comes with risks. Some people are willing to risk an awkward moment to find out for sure if the relationship could become romantic. Other people are scared out of their wits. You not only have to evaluate your reaction, but you must also prepare to deal with the response you receive from your friend. You don't want to be that person that asks expecting a "no" and you receive a "yes".
I, personally, am not a fan of dating a long term friends. If we've been friends for 5, 10, 15 years, did you all of a sudden wake up and say "heyyyyy I like him/her" ? Like what all of a sudden 15 years into the friendship clicked and said,
The ONE time I tried to date a close friend, the relationship changed so dramatically that I then realized (from first hand experience) why my friend was still single. The requirements of the relationship changed IMMEDIATELY and drastically. Too drastic for me. While we still speak, it's not been the same since our attempt. That experience was enough for me!
Now don't get me wrong, I want to marry someone who is my best friend. I think we all want someone who understands us and ALL of the crazy that entails! (If you just said, "I'm not crazy" let me include the following just for you.....LIES YOU TELL! ) However, exactly how long does it take you to realize your long time friend is the one for you? If its been YEARS, you have to be honest and ask yourself a couple of questions.
1) Are you looking at your friend as a potential significant other because they are truly everything you realize you want in a spouse, to live life with this person for the rest of forever, until death do you part, ORRRRRRRR are you just tired of waiting and you're thinking "they'll do". If its the latter, go have every seat in the Northern Hemisphere! No one deserves to be treated as second best, ESPECIALLY your long time friend.
2) Has your friend voiced some interest in wanting more? Have they given ANY indication they are interested in you? Were you planning on forcing them to date you? Or were you just going to convince them?
Now don't get me wrong, I want to marry someone who is my best friend. I think we all want someone who understands us and ALL of the crazy that entails! (If you just said, "I'm not crazy" let me include the following just for you.....LIES YOU TELL! ) However, exactly how long does it take you to realize your long time friend is the one for you? If its been YEARS, you have to be honest and ask yourself a couple of questions.
1) Are you looking at your friend as a potential significant other because they are truly everything you realize you want in a spouse, to live life with this person for the rest of forever, until death do you part, ORRRRRRRR are you just tired of waiting and you're thinking "they'll do". If its the latter, go have every seat in the Northern Hemisphere! No one deserves to be treated as second best, ESPECIALLY your long time friend.
2) Has your friend voiced some interest in wanting more? Have they given ANY indication they are interested in you? Were you planning on forcing them to date you? Or were you just going to convince them?
At the end of the day, you HAVE to be honest with yourself. If you approach this person, and they decide to give it a go, you're in for work, just as you would be in any other relationship. While a relationship is a relationship is a relationship, you must acknowledge that different expectation may come from a romantic relationship that were not necessary in a friendship. Go for it, but in the process be respectful of your friend and their feelings. Realize things may change, but don't rush the new dynamics of a relationship! Also, don't expect for your friend to just instinctively know you in the role of "significant other". As I said above, this new role may require new qualities and bear new needs. Take the time to get to know each other in this new role and space.
**WARNING** If you know you are super emotional and are easily thrown into your feelings (easily offended or upset)... be careful! Speak to your friend with an open mind, but KILL any storyline you've created in your head. Allow them the opportunity to respond in truth and love without the preconceived notions your imagination has weaved together Rumpelstiltskin! (If you need help identifying if you are the overly emotional person, please ask one of your friends. Real friends tell you the truth, especially when you are lying to yourself!)
In the end, dating long term friends is not my cup of tea, but don't let my opinion stop you! You are the captain of your own ship, and only you know what will work best for your relationship! What are you're thoughts? To date a long term friend or not? If it's your best friend does that make a difference? I wanna hear from ya! Comment below, and share with your friends!
**END DAY 2**
**WARNING** If you know you are super emotional and are easily thrown into your feelings (easily offended or upset)... be careful! Speak to your friend with an open mind, but KILL any storyline you've created in your head. Allow them the opportunity to respond in truth and love without the preconceived notions your imagination has weaved together Rumpelstiltskin! (If you need help identifying if you are the overly emotional person, please ask one of your friends. Real friends tell you the truth, especially when you are lying to yourself!)
In the end, dating long term friends is not my cup of tea, but don't let my opinion stop you! You are the captain of your own ship, and only you know what will work best for your relationship! What are you're thoughts? To date a long term friend or not? If it's your best friend does that make a difference? I wanna hear from ya! Comment below, and share with your friends!
**END DAY 2**
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